Have you ever reached that point where you are literally exhausted? I am talking about that moment your body finally screams "enough" and your mind simply agrees?
I hit that point this week. When I woke up today, it really did not seem like I was awake. I drove to our old family farm to pick some things up, and I must have been on autopilot, cause most of the trip seemed like a blur.
It has been a long week. One filled with your typical ups and downs. But starting on Wednesday, I think the exhaustion set in and it has yet to let up. When I really noticed it was when I went to see a friend for coffee on Thursday and he asked "that question." How are you and what you been up to?
The truth was, I was tired and I had been up to too much. We had a great discussion on trying to maintain family, work, and ministry. (he has a ministry as well through Faith RX'd). What was apparent is simply living life was seemingly keeping us in a constant whirlwind.
What was funny though was right as we started talking, my wife sent me a picture of hives on my 6 year old son. I knew immediately the imminent attack had begun. When we are tired and exhausted, Satan loves to beg permission to push us to our limits.
Five minutes after the hives picture, I got a text from a couple I had been working with, the husband was in need of prayer. Hard to pray when you are worn out yourself.
I looked at my friend and I told him it was time to fight. Although I was tired, I could see God was offering an opportunity to allow our faith to be tested and tried, and grown. I started out with, "Im sick and tired or simply giving in to letting the devil attack and not fighting back."
You see, although I was tired (and still am, very much so), what I am more tired of is the people of God being held captive by the lie that God is somehow not active and living and breathing through His people in our country. I am tired of buying into the concept that God meant we would have power over the enemy after we died and were perfected in heaven. I am tired of not simply believing God!
All that to say, Yes, I am exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally! But I am more tired of being lazy spiritually. I struggled this week to get the videos done and posted simply because I ran out of daylight each day before I could prepare for the next day, which was starting early. But that is no excuse for standing back and saying I will just wait to enjoy the Shepherd when I get to heaven! No. I am going to enjoy Him now.
And as one lady said, the attacks have only just begun. We are hammering away on trying to get the barn house (barndominium) completed and there is trouble on every side. Things costing more than expected. People not coming when they said they would. Simply being tired and not wanting to move your body into motion. Being told your breeding bull has just collapsed over dead for no apparent reason at the age of 2 years. Just one thing after another.
But what I love the most out of all of this is I can sense God is still at work. Although I am tired, He is not. In my weakness, His power is made perfect. (2 Corinthians 12:9-11) When this is over, I can already see it is going to be His story and His glory will be made known.
Therefore, I continue to run the race, with patience (sometimes) because the prize set before me is a worthy prize (Jesus Himself). When I fall down, He lifts me up. When I stumble, He picks me up. When I cry out, He hears me. When I am silently screaming I can't go on, He carries me!
(Thanks to all out there who are being our great cloud of witnesses. Those close by who are helping us out with work, kids, and things on the barn. And to those far away who are holding us up in your prayers. I can sense His smile as His body is functioning and holding us up in so many ways. Thanks for being our family!)