This morning, when I woke up, I had one thing on my mind, ME. I was thinking about my problems and my issues. I have been wrestling with God over my life. I tell everyone about the Good Shepherd, but for the past few weeks, life has left me little time to enjoy Him. So, I turned my eyes to where only the eyes of a frustrated sheep go, on my circumstances.
I fussed about the "pasture" He currently has me in. I was honest and told Him I was confused by this particular season of my life. It seems like I am finally answering the call He put on my heart 26 years ago, but instead of finding myself overcome with joy, I find myself overwhelmed by the cares and concerns of this life. You know, those things Jesus specifically told us not to worry about. What we will eat, drink, and wear. Things like, is the house going to get done? Am I going to be able to look my family in the eyes and reassure them everything is going to work out and God is going to see us through when my mind and spirit doubt Him. Yeah, those are the things I awoke to this morning.
I wish I could tell you the people in Orlando were on my mind. I wish I could tell you I was thinking of you and not myself this morning. I wish I could tell you I was standing firm beside my Good Shepherd today, but in all honesty, I was laying at his feet, completely worn out and exhausted. I am sure my prayers sounded more like that annoying bleating a lost and confused sheep makes. (by the way, yes, sheep, when lost and confused can sound extremely whiny.) I asked Him point blank if I was really doing what He wanted me to do with the Enjoy The Shepherd videos, or was I following my own path in doing something for Him instead of with Him. (yes, I have been there before too.) I wandered am I really making a difference?
All that put aside, my time to whine over, I put myself to the labor that was before me, building a table for our kitchen sink. I got my mind and hands busy, knowing this task had to be completed today in order for other chores to stay on schedule. I could no longer think about what I wish I had or what I thought I lacked, but my mind was set on the job at hand. It was hot (93 degrees today) and I was sweating like a pig. But in all honesty, the heat and hard work were a welcome relief from my thoughts of doubt and worry.
Then, the time came for me to take a break so the concrete cleaners could work. The floors had to be done so we could seal them tomorrow. That is when God took a moment to remind me of His love and His smile again.
I came home and opened my Facebook page. I went to read the comments that folks had left today. Then, I saw a message or two in the inbox. People struggle with real life issue, things way deeper than my surface issues. People who sent me an encouraging word or email. People who asked me to pray for them. People asking me to share more about The Good Shepherd with them. That is when God allowed me to have a change in my perspective.
Here is what is key, and I want you to know. You are a HUGE part in that change of perspective. You may think your comment does not mean much, but every Amen, Thank You, and word of encouragement is huge back here in our house, especially to me. You send your messages, wandering if you are bothering me, the answer is NEVER. Your questions, thoughts, and uplift words remind me of His smile and concern for me. Every card you have sent in the mail (and brownies too) have brought huge joy in our household as we wrestle through a difficult season in our lives.
All this to say, the perspective change is that we are all ONE family through Christ. We all need each other. Those who are strong are useless without the weaker parts of the body. I ruptured a bicep tendon a year ago. It was amazing how little use my strong bicep was without that little tendon holding it down. So every word of encouragement you share with another brother or sister in Christ, it is like that bicep tendon, it allows the strength of that brother/sister to be even more useful. Every prayer and thank you you say, it lifts up those who are struggling and weak.
You may think just because someone appears to have it all together that they do not need you, but you are wrong. Paul said we are one body, each functioning in our own role. Paul could say this because Jesus said we are all one and He prayed we would all be ONE, just as He and God are one.
So today, to those who sent a message, or an email, or left a simple comment. Thank you. For today, you have reminded me that yes, God is using me and He loves me and He is smiling as we Enjoy Him Together!