If I am honest . . .
Today I have been pondering reality. A reality that if I am honest, I prefer not to face. However, in order to "run for the prize" that I long to have, I have to do an honest assessment of my current situation. So here is the question of the day:
"If I am honest, what would my prayer sound like if it were a true reflection of how I live my life?"
This is a tough one to face, but if I am being honest, I think it would sound a lot like this:
"Hey God, how you doing buddy? You know God, you are pretty cool. That whole thing you did with Jesus coming and saving me so I could come to heaven, that was pretty awesome. I have to admit though, seems like You may have went a little extremist on the whole deal considering how fairly decent I am in life. But I get it, there were some others who did some really horrible things and Jesus had to save them to, so I think I understand.
God, you were pretty awesome for landing that nice deal for me. Yep, that money sure is going to go to good use here at our house. I think we might up our comfort level a bit. I need some new threads and the kids could use another round of goodies too. SO thanks for that. Oh, don't worry, I got a 10% refund set aside for You and all that work You have to get done in other places the world! You know me God, I got Your back!
You know God, I got a long list of things I need you to do for me while we are at it! I have a couple of nagging issues I would like for you to clear up for me. You remember that deal where you parted the waters and when you calmed the storm, can I get a little of that over here? If You would not mind, that would be awesome, cause I know how much You want me to be happy and live a prosperous life of comfort and ease, so You think you could handle making my life a little easier?
I know that Bible says something about obeying you, but You do realize our sins were paid for by Jesus, right? So you don't really mind if I keep on doing a few little things that I enjoy do you? I know they don't really match up to what You said in the Bible but hey, isn't that book a little out dated? I think we need an updated version to keep up with the times.
In case You have not noticed God, I pretty much got things covered down here. I mean, I am pretty smart. I have read a ton of books on how to be a better Christian and I have put a lot of that into practice. So, You know, since I have things mainly under control, You can take it easy (except for getting me those things I want.). I don't really think I need Your Holy Spirit or his wisdom or revelation. I know I don't get along with everybody, but I do with most. So I don't think I need that whole Spirit of unity thing. If You have been paying attention, I have been able to say no to a bunch of temptations lately, so if You need to take the Spirit of power somewhere else, feel free! I get it God, it is a big world and the rest of it needs you really bad. So don't worry about me, I got this whole living for You under control!
Come to think of it God, with all the wisdom and knowledge I have gained throughout the years, I think I can make it through life pretty much on my own. You can just sit on the sidelines and enjoy the show, and if I get in a real tough spot, I will holler for You to come to my rescue!
Hey God, glad we had this chat! You da best Big Guy!
That's all folks! (Amen)
Yep, if my prayer life was an honest reflection of how I lived my life, I am afraid that is what my prayer would sound like. And knowing what I know about sheep, and knowing sheep follow sheep, then based off the ones following me, it would appear my skills of leadership are teaching them to have a prayer life much like the one descried above.
Now for the prayer my heart longs to cry out:
"Father forgive me! For I have sinned! Father, I realize without you I am nothing and can do nothing. God, you are not the granter of my desires, You are my desire! Please God, anoint me fresh with the Holy Spirit, for without his guidance, I am lost. Without His truth, I live in a lie. Without His power, I can do nothing. Without His revelation, I cannot know You, and God, I desperately long to know You! Hear my cry Father, Jesus plead on my behalf, Holy Spirit, groan for me in ways I don't even know how to pray! God, in ever step in life, I need You!"